Updated: Nov 10, 2022
As children we can be fearless about many things. As adults we seek therapy because of fear. As adults we can lose some of the childlike qualities we once had which represents our authenticity. Somewhere along the road of life we may choose to return to collect those qualities and embrace them again.
Outrageous is one of those qualities that I lost and was sent to pick it up again. I did not even know that I lost it until I was asked to be it. For the life of me, nothing outrageous was showing up in my life. I kept thinking that I had to do something to be outrageous in my soul. I could not think of a single thing to do and I really did not want to take the risk in case I turned out to be, you know, a little too outrageous and r-i-s-k-y!
I remember when outrageous died in my heart. There's always some event that can change us and we bury these beautiful qualities about ourselves. I became sullen, joyless and my creativity seemed to have died along with it.
When I took myself on to be outrageous again, I had to ask for support because it was not coming to me naturally and clearly. I had just had my hair done at the hairdresser's and support looked like doing the most outrageous thing in that moment, which was to shave my hair off. It was buzzed off and on the floor and I smiled for the first time. Now this felt more like me. I had so much fun without hair for a period of time in my life. I wore my clown costume around town, not hiding my lack of hair. I colored it red/black to make it more outrageous. I even belly danced the cane dance known as Raks al Assaya at an event without my hair. What fun!
Robert Holden says if you believe something is missing in your life, it's probably you. I would add this question "What part of the authentic you is still missing?"