There was a time in my life when I felt extremely lonely. My favourite cousin had just committed suicide and my family left me in the very loving care of my best friend's family. They proceeded to travel to Canada for vacation. I remained behind in Trinidad because I had a very important exam to write the following year and needed extra classes. This was a time when I needed my family the most as I grieved.
In 2021 during the long lockdown I became homesick. I longed to see just one family member. Someone I know, part of my own flesh and blood to touch, hug and spend some time with and share stories. Last week my mother made the sudden decision to travel to Brazil to spend some time with Ernest and me. This decision brought tears to my eyes.
When there had been physical separation, it felt like abandonment. When my family left me to embark on their trip, I felt like the recipient of abandonment. In 2020 I left all of my family behind. That feeling of abandonment still existed, but this time I was the originator. Only God knows why I've had these two experiences and am able to put them into this perspective.
I long to see this beautiful woman who is my mother and I love very much. If I have to abandon work except for the necessary things to spend quality time with her during this visit, believe me, I will.
