It's a winter wonderland today. The snow is falling, it's so windy I can hear the wind howling loudly. It's perfect. This fulfills the image of a Christmas card, the ones I used to stare at when I lived in the Caribbean and had no experiences of snow nor cold. Being home has given me the rest and love that I've longed for and missed.
Going through my boxes of things and visiting certain places have brought back alot of memories from my past. It's almost been like a visit from the ghost of Christmas past. I realized I had been very hard on myself for a very long time as I read through notes from my personal development classes and the feedback I received. I've come a long way. I can now say I love who I've become. I'm very proud of the work I've done on myself. I love it when people take life on fully and play life full out. I didn't always see myself being this way, but now I do.
Some months ago I was having a conversation with myself as I sometimes do. I realized that now is the time in my life to do whatever impossible things I've dreamt of. I have one life to live and I want to do whatever it is that God wants me to do. As a little girl I had this knowing that it was something big. I am at the cusp of discovering what this is.
Reading through letters and notes of love and encouragement have given me the boost that I needed. Returning to Canada to be inspired has done exactly that. I'm even reading a book about inspiration that kind of fell into my path. Something has changed within me in these last days. I finally believe in myself. I am taking that I Can Do It attitude with me into 2023.
In the meantime, I am getting ready for Christmas. I've enjoyed seeing people select their Christmas trees and take them home. I love how the pine trees smell at Christmas time. I'm feasting and fasting, having fun, continuing to meet family and friends, helping as much as I can, cooking things I have not cooked in a long time and enjoying every experience. I think I've now eaten everything that I wanted to in Canada and more. In keeping with revisiting my past, I will enjoy both a traditional Canadian Christmas meal of turkey and a Caribbean Christmas with my beloved Trinidadian dishes of calaloo, macaroni pie, baked chicken, stewed oxtail and more. Oh how I've missed these!