On Saturday Ernest and I shared our experiences in Let's Talk About Marriage. One of the things I've learned in our marriage is to let Ernest lead. The Bible talks about submission in marriage and the order of the headship among God, the husband and the wife in Ephesians 5. There were times when I felt like overtaking Ernest in our relationship. I wanted to make decisions for both of us and taking matters into my own hands because I felt I could do more and much better than him.
God has taught me to be humble and to submit to Ernest, meaning, let him take the lead. You see, the headship covenant is from God to Ernest then to me. The more I let Ernest take the lead and I let go of control, I found we became successful together as a couple. God in His wisdom knew what I was thinking and He corrected my thoughts, reminding me to be patient and kind towards Ernest especially when I felt I could do better. I was reminded to pray for the success of my husband and to ask for what he might need each day. Since then a part of my daily prayer over my husband is to ask God to help him, guide him, protect him, grant him wisdom, knowledge, discernment, compassion, love, peace, to speak the truth and to grant him success in all that he does. I also ask God to help Ernest to be a big blessing to others wherever he goes.
Before marriage, I had conversations with my brother and about 4 other men about the nature of men. I learned that men don't need women to beat them up in their thoughts and actions when they are failing. That's when they need inspiration and encouragement the most, especially from their wives or girlfriends. This piece of advice was a life changer for me when I took it to heart and applied it.
Jesus would say "Truly I tell you". Today truly I tell you if I didn't let Ernest take the lead and make the decisions that he needed to as the head of our home, I would not be here in Brazil next to this beautiful beach. I am sure that I would still be sitting at my desk in Toronto in an office somewhere in the heart of a very cold winter, working for someone else and I would still be searching for happiness. My personality might be more rigid, less loving and I would still be trying to look as if I had it all together. My life would be very limited. I am grateful that God loves me enough to correct me and ever thankful that I am getting to see what Ernest and God can do together as I let them take the lead.